Between Mind and Heart
by OrcaPotter
Summary: After seven years, Harry is again faced with change. On his last Valentine's Day at Hogwarts, Harry reflects on one change that has him confused... and elated. A H/G ficlet.


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A/N: This was written within an hour of Fiction Alley's Valentine's Day ficlet upload deadline. It is exactly 1,000 words- and did fairly well. Please review when you're finished, as I greatly appreciate all that do! 

What is this feeling? As I sit here, where I always do, everything is the same. Nothing has changed. The table, perchance, has been transposed by the countless drips of ink from late-night attempts to accomplish something overdue. But the people here are the same, aren't they? Yet if I feel this way, is it all just an illusion?

After seven years, maybe I'm just fooling myself. In a few months, everything will be gone and things _will_ change. My friends sit in front of me just like they always have. But I look at Hermione, and if I let my eyes travel I _can_ see that she isn't as she was that first day we met. She's taller, her teeth straight, the chestnut brown of her hair bearing a mature sheen that she never had before. And Ron, he's even taller, if that can be conceived. He has grown into proportion with his features, and his flaming red hair trimmed neatly and pulled away from his face.

What about me? I look in the mirror, and I only see a taller and older looking version of the same boy who has looked forlornly back at me for sixteen years. My glasses are the only thing that has changed, with smaller and thinner black oval frames. Does anyone notice? If they do, I don't really care, for it hasn't really mattered. Mattered, until perhaps now.

The common room is pretty much empty. Everyone has gone to bed earlier than normal on this colder than normal February evening. The cold is something I'm used to, having had slept with meager linens under the stairs through eleven winters. So I sit here in my chair, at my table, and stare at you.

As I think, I remember the past, and I realize that we're really not that different. We're the only ones, searching for our meaning in life. But while you've strived to make yourself known, I have done everything I can to remain low. I used to see you only as you appeared to be, young and desperate. It was something inferior to me, and so I just shrugged you off as just my best friend's little sister. One to be tolerated.

But I know that you've changed. That much I have noticed. Is that why I feel the way I do? I watch you now, watch how your hair moves with every step, how your eyes crinkle with every glistening smile, the way you look at things and appear to appreciate all there is to offer. But I haven't offered you anything, have I? So why should you notice me anymore?

My soul is afraid of this change, and yet excited at the same time. It has left me confused, and I'm reminded of this feeling every time you walk into the room and my heart begins to race. No one knows the way I feel, for I think that they are too caught up in their own confusion. Hermione and Ron, they look at each other differently now. Ron has told me before how Hermione has changed, and I always denied him. He has also told me of how she makes him feel, and I couldn't understand…because I didn't know how.

That time, in my second year when the Chamber of Secrets was opened and you disappeared, I thought my sorrow for your loss was only because of Ron. But when I saw you there, lying motionless on the floor, close to death, it was as if this feeling I have now was trying to break through. You had to live, I _had_ to get you out of there, and what you went through made me angry. But when everything was over and things went back to normal, again you were only a shadow to me. You grew up and away, and it hasn't been until now that I realize what I'm missing.

_You_ are this feeling, aren't you?

"Harry? Are you alright?"

Did I happen to mention that you have a knack for sneaking up on people as well?

"Oh, Ginny… yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"What are you thinking about?" Oh, that subtle smile…

"Nothing much," I said too quickly.

"You look so lonely, where are Hermione and Ron?"

I can't help but to smile back at you, now. "Bed."

"Oh." Your bangs fall in your eyes too. "Well, I'm not tired. Mind if I sit with you?"

The only thing I can manage is to nod, for such a proposal has surprisingly made me speechless. There was a time when if you had asked, I would avert my eyes and try to ignore your idolizing face. But now…

"Things sure have changed around here, huh?"

"Yes." Oh, can you read my mind? The thought makes me blush.

"Ron likes Hermione, Colin likes Pavarti, the list goes on. We're all growing up. Nothing else matters anymore."

Now I really _am _red in the face.

"Oh?"

"You've changed. Haven't I?" Yes, but its taken me this long to realize.

"You're even prettier." Further proof that my mouth speaks before my mind.

Is it possible for your cheeks to match the color of your vibrant hair? Apparently so.

"T-thank you. Uh… well, I haven't had a chance to wish you happy Valentines Day yet."

"Happy Valentines Day to you too." If only you could be mine.

"I, er… made this for you." Even with an ugly singing cupid, I'd still cherish this forever.

"Oh, Ginny, it's beautiful. But… I'm afraid I don't have one for you. My stick figures are pretty horrid."

Your laugh only makes this feeling more intense.

"You don't have to give me anything."

"But I want to."

Leaning toward you now, I realize what this feeling means. My lips touching yours, I know what it tells me. Your single tear of joy, makes my feelings for you known. Now I know what this is. This is love, and it is you that my love belongs to.

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A/N: Please review! And do stop by my website, http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html 


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